I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
