I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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