then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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