well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
