I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
