talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
