I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
then he tried to convert me to islam
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
