I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize
