It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
