i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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