As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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