I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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