I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
