respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize