You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
