Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
