I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
