Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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