So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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