how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
