Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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