ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
