She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
