no. you can't hotbox the world.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
