he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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