I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
