Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
