just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
