Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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