I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
