i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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