Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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