Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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