Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize