I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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