White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
She's not a foreskin expert like you
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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