when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
