Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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