I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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