Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
