So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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