Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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