Non-Jews are for practice
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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