The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
