did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
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