? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
you made out with another girl for some wings
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
