woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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