We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Someone came in the potted fern
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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