Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
