She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
she smelled like a LAN party
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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