he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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