I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Its about making memories worth repressing
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
