I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
