is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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