did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
