i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
