distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize