i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
