So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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