Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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