just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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