I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
