It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
