In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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